Nostalgia

For the first time in my life last week, I missed my hometown. It was the strangest thing. I haven't lived there since the summer of 2001, and for the most part I have not missed living there one bit. Until last week.

I went back home to do the Relay for Life with my family, and Jim had to work late so I went by myself. As I pulled into the edge of town, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of sadness that is really quite difficult to explain. I spent the next several minutes reminiscing various memories of my childhood and adolescence.

As much as I complained about living in a small town, it really was a great place to grow up. I always felt safe and I had so many opportunities to be involved in anything and everything. One of my favorite memories of living in Chariton was the swimming pool. Growing up, I practically lived there and as soon as I was old enough, I became a lifeguard. It really is the best job in the world, and to this day if I could get away with it, that would be my only full-time job. (At an outdoor pool, in a warm location.) Here are some pictures of the "new" pool, which opened in the summer of 2000.  I was the assistant manager and swim lesson coordinator, again, who could ask for a better job?

I thimk more than anything I was nostalgic for my childhood. Maybe it's that I'm getting older (I'm almost 30!) or maybe it's just that I haven't been home long enough to really take time to miss it in a long time. Don't get me wrong, though, I have no intention to ever move back there or really any small town like it. Sometimes it's just nice to remember where you came from when you can appreciate it mroe than you ever did before. Does anyone else ever feel this way, or is it just me?

Time for a change

I haven't blogged in a long time. I guess I've been busy, or maybe I just haven't had much to say. Maybe it's because Katie found out I have a blog and I don't want her making fun of me. Oh well, whatever the reason, I'm in the mood to blog today.

I made a terrifying discovery last week. I had a doctor appointment, and as you all know, the first thing they do is weigh you. Now, we have a scale at home, I just choose not to use it much. As it turns out, I have gained 20 POUNDS since my wedding. Seriously. 20. That was only 4 years ago.

I am fully aware that I have been gaining some weight, but I think I have also been somewhat in denial about the whole issue. Some may argue that technically I am still in the healthy weight range for my height (barely), but I just haven't been feeling very good about myself lately, and I think I am finally ready to address the issue.

On Monday, I started (loosely) dieting. Mostly I am really just trying to be more mindful of what I eat and how much of it I am eating. A few years ago I cut down on portions, limited myself to 2 pops a week, and quit eating out for lunch all the time.  It made a huge difference then, so that's what I'm trying again. I'm also continuing my workouts in the mornings, although I think after doing it for 2 years my body is just used to that level of activity, so realistically I need to increase my activity level to see results.

I made it two days pretty successfully, and then on Wednesday my co-workers asked if I wanted to order lunch from Cafe Fuzion with them. Their chicken pad thai is by far one of my favorite things and I have no self control, so of course I ordered some. Then I made a plan to immediately take half of it out of the container and save the other half for the next day. I ate the whole thing. So much for making good choices.

Today, however, is a new day and I can't take back what I've already consumed. I want to do this so I don't have to buy more new clothes to fit my larger body. I want to do this so I can remain healthy. I want to do this for me and not anyone else. Weight watchers recommends people set a weight loss goal to lose 10% of their total weight, so that is what my goal is. If I reach that, I will be exactly where I want to be.

Don't worry, I'm not going to be one of those annoying people who sit at lunch and criticize/analyze everything I'm eating as well as what everyone else is eating. And I know I will have days when I indulge. I just have to keep reminding myself of the big picture. By next week (or even really tomorrow) will I remember that I didn't get to have french fries for lunch today when they smelled so good? No. It took a lot of time to put the weight on, and I know it will take some time to take it off, but I'm ready to give it a try. Here's hoping.