Imperfections

One of my favorite movies of all times is "Mean Girls." Most people know this about me, because I quote it all the time. It's just so clever and hilarious, and I feel like there are so many moments in it are easy to relate to from my high school days.

One scene, in particular, comes to mind at this moment. I've been thinking a lot about how critical I am of myself and how much everyone is critical of their imperfections. There is a scene in the movie when Lindsay Lohan's character realizes there are many things that can be wrong with a person besides just being "fat" or "thin."

I remember the exact time in my own life when I came to this realization. Up until this point, I was blissfully ignorant of the things I should have been worrying about. Maybe I was still too young to notice or care, and my more mature friends just brought them to light. I had one friend in particular, we will call her Sue. Sue had reached well before I had, and she was my closest friend. She was ALWAYS complaining about her hips, her breasts, the way her body hair was darker than most people's,  her legs, and on and on. I had never considered these parts of my body before, or that there could be things wrong with them. And once I considered it, I realized there were lots of things wrong with me, too. It kind of ruined my life. (That might be slightly dramatic.)

I can't really blame Sue for my enlightenment, if it wasn't her,  it would have been somebody else. Maybe it's a sign of the state of our society, or maybe it's just a reflection of my own issues and the way I internalize things, but I have never been the same since that fateful day in 8th grade. And you know what? I'm tired of feeling insecure. I'm tired of putting so much effort into worrying about how I look. I'm almost 30 years old, and at this age shouldn't we all be past the shallow criticisms of our younger days?

Some people might look at me and think that I don't care what I look like, because, honestly, most days I don't try too hard. I don't wear much make-up, half the time my hair is in a ponytail, and if I could, I'd wear sweatpants every day. But just because I'm not outwardly showing it, I'm still inwardly worrying about it. I have spent near entire days with my office door closed because I'm embarrassed about a huge zit on my face. It's pretty ridiculous.

I don't think that I'm the only person who feels this way. I don't even know who we are all trying to impress, or why we're trying to impress them. These things don't matter. I'd like to give my family and friends more credit than that, because I truly don't believe that they are all shallow jerks.

Let's all just stop this nonsense. If I worry about something, I want it to be because it directly affects my health or well-being, or someone else's feelings, not because I'm worried whether another person will like it. If you hear me complaining about something that is not important and has to do with my looks, call me out on it, and I will do the same for you. :)